Lucky Day!

Earlier today I'm running behind for my interview. Parking is a bitch, no spaces at any of the lots available. I have to park near in a metered space. Of course I only have pennies and dimes in my wallet and the meter only takes quarters. I lay 25 cents in dimes and pennies on top of the meter, hoping the meter fairy would take my offering and magically transform the loose coins into a quarter, which she would then feed the meter with.

Go do the interview thing (which lasts about 45 mins and goes reasonably well.) , and there's a small "Are you a dumbass?" type of bubble-sheet test afterwards. So in between I make some change and run to my parking spot and no ticket! The place I interviewed at shares a building with the fuckin' police department!!

I get home and my mom calls to tell me that she was just at the craft store and they had the clay I use for only .99 per 2 oz! (as opposed to the normal 2.75 or so) And she bought me 26 bars, including 5 white which is what I use the most of. My mom fuckin' rox!

Sweet! While typing this a delivery man dropped off a wedding reception present for me & Patrick from his Grandbob. It's wrapped but it came with a gift reciept. It's a knife & block set that I've been wanting for forever! Bad ass! Too bad I've gotta wait until the 20th to open it!

Let's just hope this luck holds out until I get a call saying "You're hired!" from this new place.

*crosses fingers*

"When life give you lemons...

... blow those lemons to bits with your laser cannons!" -- Brak

I know I wrote about change a couple entries back. While writing it, I had no idea how much change was in store. I'm now jobless. I thought I had an entry into the career that I have been wanting for years. No longer is that option available. It is becoming increasingly apparent that I am not for this area. I am not giving up on tattooing as a career, but if we have to move for it to happen, so be it.

Immediate plans: work on building a good portfolio, craft, and destress.
Short-term plans: get a job, find a cheaper place to live, save some money
Long-term plans: move the fuck out of here.

Geekiest Thing I've Seen All Day

Other than Patrick.

It's Official

My last day of work is this Saturday. Much earlier than I was originally going to be leaving, but I just cannot take it there anymore. I weighed myself last week and was down to 136 from around 150. (I'm 5'11"-ish) That is way too much weight for me to have lost and not really noticed. I don't want to quit because I feel like I am shortchanging the guys that I work with, but I draw the line at letting the job affect my health.

And soon I will no longer be boring you with complaints about my shitty job. I'll find all sorts of new topics to bore you with.

This Friday or Saturday I will be getting a proper mohawk and dying it some bright color. Ooh! And the Unknown Hinson show is this Saturday. Badass.

Yay for having today off!

Highlight of My Day

Listening to an sweet old lady tell me about the first time she had ever heard of the Police. Some guy took her backstage to a concert of theirs, "on acid, of course. We stood right next to the keyboards." Her words, not mine. "That Sting, you know, oh... he's a shy one."

I wanna be this lady when I grow old.

"I was a thing in my time!"

I bet, ma'am. I bet.

"Change ain't lookin' for friends...

Change calls the tune we dance to." -- Al Swearengen, Deadwood

Some pretty big changes (or at least change-related events) are coming up on the horizon for me & Patrick. I've put in my notice with the company I now work for. I've been working retail for the past four and a half(!) years, two and a half of those with the guys I work with now. I'm excited to get out of the horror that is working in a mall. At the same time though, I'm going to miss the hell outta it. Good times were had ('Squanto's' Titanic obsession, anyone? Or how about some TOOOOOOODD RUUNDGREN?) and I'll miss everyone.

I'm just 35 days away from starting my new job at Bicknee Tattoo Supply Company. There I shall be resident gopher and answerer of phones, doing whatever Rich & Bobbi ask of me. I will also be starting my tattooist's apprenticeship under Rich T. of Gallipolis, Ohio's Temple Tattoos. Since I'll be driving to both Coalton & Gallipolis on a regular basis, that mean no more Proctorville. It's been fun while it lasted. I've loved living next to Huntington. There's no restaurant where I can buy falafel in Ironton. The huge Cabell County library, Comic World, and Target, soon to be an hour's drive away. Waffle House, I think I'll miss you most of all. We're hoping to move somewhere north of Ironton on 93, but we're doubting we can find any rentals that far out of town.

In October is our wedding reception. I know, "Didn't you get married back in March?" Yes, Dear Reader, we did. But since there was no wedding ceremony, just a paper-signing in a craft store across the street from the court house, we decided to have a reception/party so we can celebrate with friends and family. Yay for the opportunity to make cheap, pretty crafts and make a whole buffet of food. I'm nothing if not my mother's daughter.

There's a ton of shows coming up in the next few months that I can't wait for. I'm glad two of them are in Huntington so I can afford to see all of them! Unknown Hinson (voice of patriarch Early Cuyler on [adultswim]'s Squidbillies) is August 25th at the V Club. Junior Brown October 7th at the same venue. October 5th we'll be seeing the Arcade Fire in Columbus with our friends Nick & Jenn. Plus in November, Reverend Horton Heat, Nashville Pussy & Hank III will all be at Bogart's in Cincinnati. God, that tour gives me a proverbial raging boner.

Well, I suppose that will do for a 'catching up' entry. Hopefully my entries will be more frequent. I need to cross-post more stuff from Deviant Nation, my home on the internets.

Five Faves: Fake American Accents

Man, do I love making a list. It's one of the most satisfying things on the face of planet. Never mind it's a list of chores that in reality will never get done, the completion of my list is enough accomplishment for me. So here is the auspicious debut of what I hope will be an enjoyable, if not completely self-indulgent, recurring item, Five Faves.

tg's Five Fave fake American accents*

1. Michael Palin
Ok, confession time: if I had a time machine, first thing I would do is go back to 1968 and make out with Michael Palin. Of all the Pythons, he by far had the most entertaining American accent. Part Minnesota, part Kennedy-esque Massachusetts, still mostly British, I find it very charming. Here is a clip from The Meaning of Life with Palin as a husband having a philosophical conversation with his wife.



2. Alan Cumming
How can I have a list about actors and accents without mentioning Alan Cumming? This natually thickly broughed man is a master of many accents from Russian to German to American. I'm mildly irritated that I could not find a clip on the YooToobz of him speaking in ShowTime's production of Reefer Madness, so instead I have some Romy& Michelle's High School Reunion. Not a great clip, but it shows off his accent marvelously.



3. Mick Jagger
It's no secret that the Stones are huge fans of country music. Mick's country-fried accent is best heard on the Sticky Fingers track "Far Away Eyes." Unfortunately, the only performance of that song on YT is from 2006. In lieu, enjoy this amazing performance from 1972 of my favorite Stones' song,"Dead Flowers."



4. Eddie Izzard
Who doesn't like a man in drag who makes jokes about history. While not as funny as his James Mason, Eddie's American accent isn't half-bad. Here he is in his special Glorious talking about Robin Hood movies.



5. Idris Elba
Idris Elba is on his way to becoming a hot Hollywood actor. With recent roles in The Reaping and the lead in Tyler Perry's Daddy's Girls, his star is rising fast. He will always be HBO's The Wire's Stringer Bell to me. As the brains behind the biggest drug gang in West Baltimore, I was blown away by Irdis's acting skills. Then I learned he was British. I had absolutely no clue. Hugh Laurie be damned, Idris is the winner of Best Fake American accent. To get the full effect, check out this interview to hear his voice in it's natural state. The detective in this scene, Dominic West of 300, also is pulling a fakie US accent, but it pales in comparison.



So what's yours?

*note: Five Fave does not necessarily mean the five best, mearly the five that most entertain me.